How Adopting a Third Person Perspective Will Change Your Life

As much as you are the main character in your life, you should also be an observer. Here are the benefits of adopting a third person perspective on your life.

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There are two main reasons I love reading.

I learn new things.
I often stumble upon deeply relatable sentiments that solidify and strengthen beliefs and ideas that I already had.

A book that I read at the beginning of the year and greatly enjoyed was The Creative Act by Rick Rubin.

As a creative, that book resonated with me on so many levels.

But I think what I loved the most was the way Rubin draws attention to the spiritual aspects of creativity and the profound truths that govern our thoughts and actions in every waking moment.

I'd like to share with you one of my favourite concepts from the book.

This is a concept I already strongly believed, but to see Rubin express it so eloquently was deeply satisfying:

"Consider detaching from the story of your life as it's happening. You're observing a dramatic scene where the protagonist faces a seemingly insurmountable challenge. It's you, but it's not you.

Instead of sinking into the pain of heartbreak or the stress of being laid off or the grief of loss, if practicing detachment the response might be: "I wasn't expecting that plot twist. I wonder what's going to happen to our hero next."

Do you ever feel like your life is a movie?

I often do.

Sometimes I find that life plays out in a way that is so comically ironic that I cannot help but be amused, even if I am dealing with what others might view as a negative experience.

In such moments, I will sometimes jokingly say: "Whoever is writing my show is having a lot of fun right now."

I think it helps a lot to practice a degree of detachment, and be able to truly laugh at yourself, like a third person observer.

Of course, when you're going through something intense, detaching is easier said than done.

It's human nature to get swept up in the emotions of the present moment, to worry about the future, to feel like you're trapped with no way out.

But if you can find it within you to see a slither of humour or something to be grateful for regardless of the situation you find yourself in - it will absolutely change your life.

Adopting a third person perspective - behaving as though I am an observer of my life rather than the person directly experiencing the highs and lows - is something I have developed over time and has contributed to me having a personality that others would perceive as calm.

I think that a large aspect of my ability to detach stems from the fact that I know that my emotions will directly impact the outcome of a situation, and I am extremely curious to see how events will play out without my emotional interference.

Another factor that contributes to my ability to detach is that I am incredibly aware of my limitations.

Although I can control my internal environment through elements like being deliberate with my attention, intention, and patterns of thought - I cannot control external factors, such as the way another person's world will collide with mine.

So after I have done my my part to live in a conscious and conscientious way, the best I can do is hold on tight, enjoy the ride, and see how the rest of the plot unfolds.

Just as the quote above mentions, sometimes you have to pause and say: "I wonder what's going to happen to our hero next".

Interestingly, if you have a religious or spiritual outlook on life, you might amend that slightly - not viewing yourself as the hero, but viewing a higher power, - i.e. God - as being the hero in your life.

When you have faith in a higher power, you know that you will always be looked after and taken care of, and a result you can be the protagonist of your life, without being overwhelmed by worry or anxiety about the future.

You can be curious yet composed, diligent yet detached, purposeful yet patient, because you know that you are in safe hands and that everything is ultimately working out the way it's supposed to.

This is where an external locus of control can be a beautiful thing - you do what you can to improve your life, while surrendering the things you cannot control.

You do your best, and forget the rest.

Adopting a third person perspective in life will help you realize that many things are not as serious as they first appear.

It will teach you to laugh more, to not take yourself too seriously.

In TV shows and movies and books, the protagonist always somehow find a way to get out of a difficult situation.

The same can be true in your life.

All you have to do is can remind yourself to pause, reflect and remember to be a third person observer.

It's you - but it's not you.

Although you may not see it now, there is a very simple solution to any problem.

While life is full of plots twists and unexpected events, there are also miracles happening every day and hidden in plain sight.

If you can manage to stay emotionally regulated and not get caught up in the trap of being high-strung, you will be rewarded, as per the rules of the game.

Your happy ending may be just around the corner.

Warmly,

Roli Edema