What I Wish I Knew About Coping with an Identity Crisis

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Have you ever noticed yourself change so much within the course of a few weeks or months that you no longer recognize yourself?

It can feel terrifying in the moment, but after the rocky, tumultuous process of change, you may find out that you have emerged a better, stronger person. 

Here's what I wish I knew about coping with an identity crisis. 

1. A breakdown often occurs before a breakthrough

If you've ever experienced an identity crisis, you'll know that it can be extremely uncomfortable, and even painful.

It's like the adult version of the discomfort that kids get when they grow new teeth.

In 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think, author Brianna Wiest explains that discomfort is what happens when we are on the precipice of change. 

It usually takes a bit of discomfort to break through to a new understanding, to release a limiting belief, to motivate ourselves to create real change.

Unfortunately, we often confuse discomfort for unhappiness and cope with the latter while running from the former. 

However, as Wiest explains, people don't have breakdowns unless they are on the precipice of breakthroughs. 

Breakdowns - or any kind of intense mental-emotional turmoil - are always a sign that things are in the process of changing. Otherwise they'd just be "normal".

You're done accepting your old "normal" and you're onto bigger, better, brighter, happier things. 

2. Your beliefs might change, or they might just get stronger 

Having an identity crisis can give you an opportunity to rethink your beliefs, especially beliefs you've held onto for a long time. 

It usually takes a major life change for deeply ingrained beliefs to be shaken, but it may be exactly what you need. 

You may realize that you've adopted the viewpoints of others for years without much thought of your own.

When an identity crisis eventually hits you, it gives you the opportunity to arrive at your own conclusions and build real conviction.

Your beliefs might radically change, or they might stay the same and get stronger. 

Either way, after an identity crises rocks your world, it will leave you firmly convinced about what you believe and more importantly, why.

3. You cannot rush the process

An identity crisis can be extremely overwhelming, and it can make you feel confused for weeks, months or even years. 

But you cannot rush the process. 

The only way out of an identity crisis is through.

This is why you need to give yourself time to work through all the thoughts and emotions that may hit you during this time.

An identity crisis never happens randomly.

It always happens at the right time (not necessarily a convenient time) and to serve a specific purpose, so give it enough time to complete its work and see its way through.

4. You are allowed to be a different person than you were yesterday

If, in the aftermath of an identity crisis you realize that you are now a completely different person than you were before, that's completely okay.

If after the crisis, you realize that you need to become a new person, that's also okay. 

Seeing yourself change so radically can be scary, but growth requires change.

You are under no obligation to be the same person you were even 5 minutes ago. 

If you recognize a need for change in your life, you should go ahead and make the change, and not be held back by how you think other people will react. 

Some people will want you to stay the same way forever, but that's neither healthy nor reasonable. 

Would you be happy to find out that you are exactly the same 10 years from now? 

Probably not.

Even if you like many aspects of how you are now, you likely don't want to stay exactly the same, you want to grow and improve.

Then why should you be afraid of changing and evolving, especially in a way that's going to be positive in the long-run?

Don't ever be afraid to be a new person, and don't feel like you owe anyone any explanations either.

One of greatest gifts you can give yourself is to allow yourself to become the person you are destined to become.

5. Self-care is everything

Because of the way the mind and body are closely interconnected, it's very important to prioritize self-care when coping with an identity crisis.

This means that despite how you how you may be feeling mentally and emotionally, you still need to make the effort to eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise. 

When your body is healthy, you will find it easier to tackle the mental and emotional obstacles you are going through.

So don't neglect your health when trying to cope with an identity crisis. 

Take care of your body and it will take care of you, helping you to make decisions with a sound mind and laying the foundation for greater mental clarity and emotional stablilty.

Final Thoughts

Your dream future self exists, and is grateful for your present self making the decision to get on the train to come meet them. 

Though the ride may come with a few bumps along the way, each day of this journey, you are making your future self more and more proud. 

So hang on in there!

All the best, 

Roli Edema

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